


The universe is cruel

by OrganizedDecay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Coran's pov, POV Second Person, i just love coran so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8201747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrganizedDecay/pseuds/OrganizedDecay
Summary: coran coran the traumatized man





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's my first fic since... middle school, I guess? I have something longer on my mind but since the plot is complicated and I'm still going to school it will take a while before I start publishing it. So here you have this, there aren't many Coran-centric works so i thought I could write one? Feel free to comment and please tell me if there are any mistakes, english isn't my first language so I can't really "catch" every single one.

_The universe is cruel_ , you think as you wake up from 10 000 years long slumber, the realisation of how much you’ve lost dawning on you suddenly, taking your breath away, making your eyes sting and for a second you’re sure your heart will never beat again.

But then you see her. Your dearest friend’s only child, the princess without her kingdom to rule over, the girl with her home taken away, an orphan. At this moment she's the only thing keeping you from falling apart.

You take a breath, your heart’s beating again.

There is hope.

There _is_ hope.

(They’re only children, nags the voice inside your head.)

 

 

You’re standing in front of the pod, blue light makes the person in it look even more pale, sick.

Homesick boy, missing his family thousand light years away from them. The weakest link, ladies man, so full of himself yet so self conscious, so loud.

A hero with heart full of love and compassion, the glue holding them all together. Compassionate, gentle soul. Hidden potential just waiting to be uncovered, an unpolished diamond.

This child saved your life.  

Too young to die, too young to fight in a war, too young to carry such a burden on his back.

 _It shouldn’t be like_ thhis, you want to scream. _It shouldn’t be like this._

And yet it is.

 _I miss the rain_.

At this moment, you think you miss the rain, too.

 

 

You often find yourself waking up in the middle of night, dripping in sweat, flashes of explosions right in front of your eyes, screams and cries ringing in your ears -- bloody picture of your dying brothers and sisters burned into your memory.

There’s no point in trying to go back to sleep, you won’t be able to do it.

You go out of your bedroom, come to the training room (Shiro’s already there, fighting the robot. You can tell he’s been here for quite a while).

You speak only when you’re announcing yourself– carefully, not to startle him – and after, you two just let yourselves get lost in the practice, feeling of adrenaline familiar and welcome.

Neither you nor him have ever asked what wakes you up at night, there is no need for it.

Time passes quickly when you spar and when you finish, the pleasant feeling of weariness washes over you. You smile at Shiro and he replies with the same. Genuine expression makes him look like a 25 year old again, and you’re surprised by how easy it is to forget that, despite being the oldest of all paladins, he's very young, too.

You excuse yourself after, your chest heavy for the rest of the day.

 

 

Sometimes you really, really want to forget. Throw every single memory away, pretend Altea’s still here, Zarkon never betrayed you all. That everyone’s save and alive.

Maybe, you think, just maybe if you’ll close your eyes for long enough it’s going to happen.

You’re disgusted with yourself. You don’t have the right to forget and you know it.

You were educated, well-trained, intelligent and yet you couldn’t save your own home, your own planet. You can’t even protect anybody now, 10 000 years later.

You’ve failed, you’re useless.

The least you can do is remember. Try to live as long as you can and carry the memory of what used to be one of the greatest planets in the universe.

 

 

You’re sitting in the infirmary with Lance, both of you battered up and covered in dust and blood after a particularly rough fight. Keith, Hunk and Shiro are in the pods, the latter barely making it to the castle. Look of complete terror on Allura’s face is still fresh in your mind, even after Pidge walked her to her sleep chambers while you were patching up Lance.

“We're losing, Coran. We’re going to die here soon.”

You look up from a particularly nasty bruise on his arm and meet his gaze, dark circles under deep, blue eyes evident even under all the dirt. The remnants of baby chub he had when he and the other paladins arrived to the castle of lions are long gone, his hair grew longer, bangs now reaching his chin, a few strands are stuck to his forehead but Lance doesn’t bother to do anything with it. He just keeps looking at you, as if waiting for something, for your response. But you’re speechless.

You’re not sure what hits you more. Is it the meaning of the statement? Or the way he says it, so matter-of-factly, almost emotionless.

Maybe it’s because of how much you want to disagree, to say “what are you talking about, Lance! We’re going to live, we’re going to win! It’s going to be okay, boy, just you wait”.

But you can’t and Lance seems to notice it, because he smiles  (and you’re sure that even when crying he won't look as sad as at this moment), squeezes your arm reassuringly (it should be the other way around) and stands up, leaving you alone in an empty infirmary.

 _The universe is cruel_ , you think, looking at tall silhouette slowly disappearing in one of the hallways.

_The universe is cruel._

And you can’t find hope.

Maybe there isn’t any.


End file.
